First World Problems! Owning A Sports Car Isn't All It's Cracked Up To Be

I realize the first, second the third world titles are archaic terms from the Cold War era, but as language is prone to change, they’ve become synonymous with the development levels of a country. Living in a developed or first world nation has its advantages: paved roads, access to new vehicles and traffic laws to name just a few. But there are disadvantages too: safety regulations, pavement and access to new sports cars. Come with us on a tour of the problems faced by collectors, connoisseurs and everyday folks in nice cars.

Car Seat Doesn’t Fit

So you thought you’d buy yourself a beautiful roadster for when the kids are out of the house, and you feel like hitting the open road. Too bad your wife asked you to take the kids for a drive today! After fifteen minutes of contorting yourself over the forward-tilted front seat, you finally call the match a loss and accept that your little buckaroo won’t be able to enjoy the thrill of hitting 62 miles per hour until he’s big enough to buckle himself in without a booster seat. Sports cars with back seats that children can’t fit into are one of the leading causes of automotive apathy plaguing our youth today. Do your part and buy a car you can squeeze your family into.

Disclaimer: Never let your baby drive your sports car! Do not allow a small child to ride in the front seat, or in your car at all without a car seat (as pictured above).

Car Sits Too Low

Ever wonder why speed bumps are yellow? Legend has it that they’re colored by the paint scraped off of undercarriages and skirts of unsuspecting sports cars. Myths aside, this is a real epidemic in our society. A few years ago I worked for a landscape company. We were called to a client’s home to smooth out the end of their driveway because their brand new Ferrari couldn’t make it onto the street without touching down. The more significant problems were the speed bumps at either end of his residential block because he lived in a school zone. The client ended up with a quarter million dollar car they could only drive about a hundred feet in either direction before rubbing Ferrari Red all over the street.

If you’re already salivating at the thought of having these problems, our next issue will leave you hungry for more.

Not Enough Room For Groceries

What are you supposed to do when you get your cart to the trunk of your car, only to realize you don’t have room for all, or nearly any, of your groceries? It’s here where big decisions are made; coffee gets priority, so that means the milk has to come home too. Luckily the bread squishes down to make room, but the rumble of that massive V10 might just leave you with scrambled eggs, so they get left behind. Suddenly, you’ve been suckered into making three trips, and you’re bargaining with the store manager to let you stash your frozen food in the storage freezers until you return. It’s times like these you start to wish it was winter so you could strap those chicken breasts to the roof to keep them frozen on the way home. Or maybe not.

Rearview Camera is Dirty

Don’t you hate it when technology fails you and you have to do it the old-fashioned way? I feel like a sucker having to use my neck everytime some mud or dust kicks up over my rearview camera. I know the manual says I need to check the area visually, but what’s the point of having a camera if you’re going to make me look around anyways? Someone should start putting little sprayers on the lens, so I don’t need to get out of my car or see where I’m going. Even worse is when someone tries to help and leaves a giant muddy fingerprint to look through.